Hollywood is soiling my childhood memories

Hollywood is single-handedly trying to destroy my fond memories of movie watching. While wasting precious minutes browsing YouTube I noticed the words: "Samuel Jackson to do a remake of THE LAST DRAGON". My back straightened up as the realization smacked me across the cheek. There is going to be a remake of the 80's classic, The Last Dragon! What the? Who the? How the?

Truthfully that is one movie that should never be remade. I am certain the innocence of the characters and the plot will be ruined by new graphics and bringing things up to date (read: hypersexual themes). Something about that unsophisticated orange Tang-colored 'glow' is important. I can't imagine it being brilliant or sparkly like a certain vampire.

Despite my sentiments let's run down who is in line to play the 3 major characters. I did some internet sleuthing and I pray that I am mistaken about 2 of them. Here are the 3 main characters and original actors:

Bruce Leroy played by Taimak
Sho-nuff played by Julius J. Carry III (R.I.P)
Laura Charles played by Vanity


Below is a list of the new actors picked for these roles and my analysis.

Sho-nuff played by Samuel L. Jackson
It is easy to imagine Mr. Jackson bringing a serious, dramatic and evil yet funny and cartoon-ish aspect to the role. For the physical all he would need to do is workout and slap on a wave nouveau wig. We already know he can pull off hair extensions. All in all, he is a reasonable choice. He has star power but he could actually bring something to the table if he kept Sho-nuff in his somewhat original role along.


Laura Charles played by Rihanna
Um...no. I really hope the 'kinky' dominatrix thing is a rumor. That completely supports what I am afraid of, a hypersexual movie. The appeal of The Last Dragon was it's wholesomeness. Damn it. I equate Hollywood's "show more ass" approach to TV's putting a cute kid on a sitcom in order to boost ratings if only for a little bit. People may sit up and take notice but they don't remain loyal when they realize the program on their screen is still crap. If the character has been completely rewritten there will be some serious changes to the plot and feel of the movie. Boo.

And now to the part we have all been waiting for...Bruce Leroy played by Taylor Lautner
At first I was really skeptical (truth be told I still am) but like Taimak, Lautner is trained in martial arts(karate). Taimak wasn't known for overly amazing acting skills and Lautner is the guy without a shirt. Taimak had the glow and Lautner has been in a movie with someone who glows. Unfortunately Lautner is really beefed up and Bruce Leroy, although fit, had an innocent unfinished look. Maybe Lautner's age could give him that innocence. Bruce Leroy didn't look like a fighter and that could be an issue if the character comes across as this seasoned hardcore guy. I suspect he will be the seasoned hardcore guy since he has to win the love of a kinky dominatrix.

After re-reading what I wrote I am beginning to wonder if unlike the original story line are they going to drop the whole theme of communities and neighborhood establishments being overrun by greedy privileged people and showing how a community can find the power from within to stop that from happening? As a little girl I enjoyed watching regular people winning against the big scary guys. As an adult that was something about the movie I appreciated even more.